Tags: gibson

mountains

387

I deactivated my Facebook temporarily yesterday. It was adding to my stress and anxiety and I need a break away from everything right now. I need a lot of me time. I don't know what I want; I just know what I do not want. I couldn't stop tossing and turning in my sleep. I had the shakes all night. I have really bad anxiety. I cried a lot yesterday when I was with Sarah. My heart is racing.

I'm trying to laugh it off so I don't start going mad. I just keep over thinking everything and everyone I have talked to about this, nearly, when I was asking for advice all say relatively the same thing. I would be an idiot if I were to ignore everything.

I just need to do what is best for me. What is best for number one. And I am great girl, whatever happens is for the best. I wish I could talk to Michael about it, but our relationship has not been restored and I'm not sure it will be. But I know that he would be able to tell me what it is that I am seeking to hear, what I need to hear.  He would tell me what I was thinking already but just needed to hear.

I need to stop being a coward.

    You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play.
    The end of every game is an anti-climax. What you thought you would feel you don't feel, what you thought was so important isn't anymore. It's the game that's exciting.
    And if you win?
    There's no such thing as a limited victory. You must protect what you have won. You must take it seriously.

mountains

385

I'm a likable person, pretty much. Really out going and friendly and you know sometimes I'm funny. I'm good at that, a people person. It helps that all the people I work with for the most part like me more because it is the difference between getting your hours cut and being laid off when the season gets really slow.

I have decided I want Leonard to meet my friends...but I am a little cautious because of the types of personalities my friends (aside from Nichelle) have and the type of personality he has. I feel like what annoys people about me sometimes is what I like about him...multiplied by five.

I also want to learn to fire a gun as well as own one.
mountains

370

fraud charges on my checking account to an out of country charge.
sweet.
spent two hours at the bank figuring it out.


i went out and bought another copy of the passion by jeanette winterson.
i'm re-reading it at the moment because it speaks loudly to me.


did i mention how nice it is to see cam's face back around mass?